vaultdweller:

Skyrim Enemies That Can Fuck Right Off (3/4)
→Spriggans

Hear that buzzing sound? That’s the sound of you getting fucked by nature, and not even in the good way. These motherfuckers are Spriggans, twisted tree-women who live in all the nice, peaceful places in the world. Oh! What a nice little clearing with a little pond and some berries! What a great place to stop and rest for a while! You will have that thought exactly once, until a Spriggan, or family of Spriggans, crawl out of the trunk of that tree and summon every woodland creature to come fuck you up. You only need it to happen once. After that, every calm, out of the way place is approached with caution, knowing that any second that tree could come to life and claw your face off. And just when you think they’re dead, they have the annoying ability to restore themselves to full health. That’s right. They’re the douchelords with Full Restore. The worst part is, there’s just something wrong about killing Spriggans. They’re like the very embodiment of nature and they’re weirdly beautiful, in their own way. Of course that thought won’t last long as they summon an elk to come impale you on its horns. After that it’s fuck nature, and fuck Spriggans.